A Demon Comes to Visit
by TheMysticalQ
Summary: A simple visit from Damien quickly goes downhill for Pip. Will the sweet Brit get answers, and will his parents ever forgive him? SADDAM HUSSEIN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN DETROIT! DxP Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Cutie: Who the fuck am I? I'm TheMysticalQ's best friend! She can't upload this herself, so I'm uploading it for her!

**A Demon Comes to Visit – Chapter 1**

Pip shivered in the cold, waiting for Damien to arrive. He turned to his parents, waiting along with him outside of their house. He frowned a little, seeing their unsure faces, as they anxiously waited for the Prince of Darkness to appear.

"Don't worry mom and dad," he said, "Damien promised me he would be on his best behavior."

"Are you sure about that, Pip?" his mother, Marie, asked him.

Pip smiled to himself as he remembered the night he managed to convince Damien to be good for a day.

_Flashback_

_His naked lover lay sprawled across the bed; panting from the intense lovemaking with the one he called his angel. God, they hadn't done that in a while…_

_Pip crawled up to Damien's chest, and smiled up at him sweetly._

_"So, now that you remember what you'll be missing if you say no…"_

_Damien chuckled. "How could I not say yes?"_

_He planted a kiss on Pips forehead, then pulled him closer and instantly fell asleep. Pip smiled in victory before he too lost himself to sleep._

_End Flashback_

"…about this? Pip?"

Pip was startled out of revere by his mother's voice.

"What?"

"I said, are you sure about this?" His mother replied.

"Or course. You're going to love him, especially you, dad."

His father, George, looked at Pip and smiled, remembering that both he and Damien shared a common interest in painting.

Silence reigned for the next few minutes.

Pip lightly hummed to himself, closing his eyes and imagining what it would be like when Damien finally arrived. He imagined Damien being a perfect gentleman to his mother, painting with his father, and playing with his pet dog, Clover.

Pip sighed happily to himself, happily imagining how perfect the day would be.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

At that moment, a giant portal opened up in front of the family. Screeching bats and deadly-looking flames flew out of it, and the terrified shrieks of the damned reached their ears.

"Damien, you promised to behave!" Pip screamed.

The son of Satan appeared, casually strolling through the portal before Pip.

"Humans," Damien sneered. "I'm delighted to inform you that Pips time on this Earth is over, but don't worry," he added at the terrified looks he received from Pip's parents, "I'll be back for you soon enough."

And with that, Damien quickly knocked Pip unconscious, and dragged him down to Hell.

**End of Chapter 1**

Here's TheMysticalQ's authors note:

So, tell me how I did! Go easy on me though, it's my first fanfiction. Reviews, constructive criticism, and PM's are welcomed. Flames will be used to keep Hell hot.


	2. Chapter 2

RyouCutie4Ever: Hi again! I'm pretty sure that I'm going to continue to be her chapter poster, so I'm not going anywhere!

Here's TheMistycalQ's (TMQ) introduction:

Thanks to everyone who reviewed this story! It really made me happy to see all the –

Vladimir: God, would you SHUT UP! You know I hate happy!

TMQ: I regret naming you.

Vladimir: Well what the hell would you say when talking to me? "Hey, voice in my head, stop being such a meanie"?

TMQ: …Good point. Anyway, enjoy this chapter from me and the voice in my head!

Vladimir: I have a name, you know!

TMQ: Oh, I know.

(_RyouCutie4Ever: Since she forgot to do it, I'll do it for her. Disclaimer: TheMysticalQ does not own South Park or Hell.)_

**A Demon Comes to Visit - Chapter 2**

When Pip opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was one of Damien's servants, Giovan, watching him.

'_Hmph, so the bastard scares the shit out of my parent, drags me to Hell, and doesn't even have the decency to watch me himself. Typical.' _He thought.

"Giovan, do you know where Damien is?"

"Master Damien is in an important meeting with Satan, Master Pip." The little imp bowed while talking to him, avoiding eye contact.

"Thank you, Giovan."

It was then that Pip finally took in his was lying down on a king sized bed, with a dark red comforter and black silky pillows.

'_Well, at least I'm in Damien's room and not in one of the guest rooms. I'm still going to castrate him when he gets back, though.' _Pip thought.

So he decided to wait for Damien to come back.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Finally, Pip got tired of waiting and angrily stomped out of Damien's room, destination in mind:

Hell's throne room.

Where all the parties, trials, and meetings were held.

As Pip made his way there, his emotions rapidly shifted from anger, to shock, to confusion, to betrayal, then back to anger.

The one thing he wanted to know was why. Why, after seven hours of convincing him to behave, would Damien do that? Why did he scare his parents? Why did Damien kidnap him? Why did he do these things, knowing that he wouldn't be getting any for a month if he did?

Pip wanted answers, and if he had to kick some ass to get them, then that's exactly what he would do.

TMQ: So tell me what you loved and what you hated. I live for reviews!

Vladimir: Don't review! That'll _kill _her!

TMQ: You're so mean! When was the last time you got laid!

Vladimir: Same time as you.

TMQ: Oh, so never.

Vladimir: Exactly.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey again, Ryoucutie4ever invading TMQ's stories yet again! Here's the newest chapter!

(The rest is TMQ talking…and Vladimir…)

To the chapter 2 reviewers: - No sex of any kind in this chapter. Sorry to disappoint.

Garu0212- Thank you for your nice words! They made me super happy!

ryoucutie4ever- I know I'm psychotic, but that's why you love me!

HappyNoodleGirl666- I know it was short, but it was also rushed.

YaoiFanatic1966- Thanks, and the chapters will get longer...hopefully.

I love you guys so much for reviewing! It makes me happy to see the number of reviews I have go up. TRIPLE DIGITS, MAN!

Vladimir: Let me out, goddamn you!

Me: Sorry Vlad. No, I lied, I'm not. You're gonna stay locked up in my mind until I get better. Hear that, people? I'm writing while sick, so be grateful!

Disclaimer: If I owned South Park, Cartman and every female would be dead, and you'd basically be watching never-ending porn.

Damien sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he made his way to Hell's throne room, late as usual. He'd been feeling so full of guilt all day, and the last thing he needed was to be stuck in a boring meeting discussing how to make the newcomers feel welcome.

He hadn't wanted to kidnap Pip and scar his parents. He'd _wanted_ to make a good impression on them, he really did. Everything was going great, and it would've stayed that way if fucking Saddam Hussein gotten involved...

Flashback

_Damien dug through his closet, trying to find a suitable outfit for his visit with Pip's parents. He was so excited to finally meet his boyfriend's parents, and he wanted to make a good impression on them._

_"Hey there, Damien. Getting ready to kidnap Pip and traumatize his parents?"_

_Damien turned to face the source of the all too familiar voice, confusion and annoyance etched on his face._

_"Why the hell would I do that? And Didn't I kill you yesterday, Saddam?"_

_"Well where was I supposed to go, Detroit?" the Canadian dictator replied._

_"Good point."_

_"So how are you gonna do it?" Saddam asked._

_"Do what?"_

_"Kidnap Pip and traumatize his parents." Saddam replied._

_"Why would I do that? I actually want them to like me, and Pip would kill me if I did that." Damien said._

_Saddam smiled evilly and said "Really? This video of you setting people on fire says otherwise."_

_He held up a DVD and continued._

_"It'd be a real shame if your father found out that you used your powers on Earth like that."_

_Damien glared at Saddam and asked "First, how did you even get a DVD of that? Second, they were hurting Pip! I have every right to protect him!"_

_"And you couldn't have done that without using your powers?"_

_Damn. He had a point there. If his dad found out, he wouldn't be able to see Pip for weeks! He couldn't stand the thought of that, but if he did what Saddam wanted, Pip would never forgive him..._

_Then again, maybe if he explained it to him..._

_"Fine, I'll do it."_

End Flashback

Damien shuddered at the memory. He was _not_ looking forward to explaining this to Pip. With a sigh, he pushed open the doors to the throne room, and stopped in shock.

Every demon was bloodied and unconscious, their bodies scattered all around the room. Even his father, the great and powerful Satan, had fallen to the might of the most dangerous force in the universe.

When Damien looked up at the throne and saw that force, he almost had a heart attack.

Pip was sitting on the throne, legs crossed and smiling down at him like an angel. "Damien," he said sweetly, "I believe you have some explaining to do."

Well shit. There go all his hopes of living.

A/N: And you're stuck with another cliff-hanger! Don't you just hate me right now?

Vladimir: I know I do. I'm stuck in your mind until you're better! I'm going to go insane!

Me: Not if people review! So, review if you want Vlad to keep his sanity!

(ryoucutie4ever: And don't worry, I'll most likely not pipe up anything in TMQ's stories anymore, I'll just continue to be her chapter poster!)


	4. Chapter 4

(Cutie: All the mistakes are MINE. NOT TheMysticalQ's. I think you'd be able to put that together since I'm the one putting them up not her. ALL THE MISTAKES BELONG TO Ryoucutie4ever!)

I would like to thank Garu0212, Yaoitantic1996, HappyNoodleGirl666, Chris-Chan1996, Dani-LUFC , Cristal Momo Star, 666xx, and IWant2-D for reviewing the last chapter. For those of you wondering how Pip was able to defeat Satan himself, all will be explained in this chapter.

I'd like to propose a challenge. Whoever can make an accurate fanart of Vlad will get either A) put in my next fanfic or B) get a fanfic written in their honor. Here's what Vlad's basic looks are: Blue eyes, black hair that ends at the nape of his neck, pale white skin, with most of his outfits consisting of the colors black, purple, blue, red, and silver. Pick any combo you want.

Disclaimer: I own South Park. I also invented time travel, the English language, and currently live in Candyland. BOTDF RULES!

Damien was currently regretting ever bringing Pip to Hell. He shouldn't have caved when Pip begged to see his home., and he should've watched him better when he did. As Damien fled from the room containing his angry blonde Brit, he recalled the day he allowed Pip to enter Hell...  
><em><br>Flashback_

_"Please, Damien?" "No, Pip! Hell isn't a safe place for you to be in!" "But Damien, I really want to see where you live!" "The answer is no, Pip." "But Damien, I-" "No!"_

_Pip huffed and looked away angrily. There was silence in Pip's bedroom for a few minutes, and Damien had thought he won, until-_

_"I bet I could seduce you into saying yes."_

_Damien looked at Pip and said, "When was the last time you EVER did the seducing in this relationship?"_

_Pip glared at him. "I could do it if I tried!"_

_"Wanna bet on it?" Damien asked Pip._

_"You're damn right I do! I'll be back in half an hour!" And with that, Pip strode out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him._

_Damien smiled. 'Well I've got half an hour to myself. I think I'll take a nap now.' He thought to himself and lied down on Pip's bed to sleep, the sweet sent of his lover carrying him away to the land of dreams._

_When Damien awoke half an hour later, he was greeted with quite the memorable sight. Pip was straddling his waist, wearing a tight purple leather shirt, and tight black leather pants. Did he mention how tight fitting his outfit was?_

_Needless to say, Damien lost that bet._

_The next day, Damien and Pip were standing outside the gates of Hell._

_"Are you sure about this Pip?" he asked._

_"Of course I am! I've wanted to see Hell for a while." Pip said. "Okay, but whatever you do, don't go anywhere I can't see you, and don't talk to any strangers." "Yes, mother."_

_Damien glared, "I mean it, Pip. You could really get hurt if you aren't careful."_

_"Okay, Okay, I'll be careful." Pip said. "Can we go now?"_

_"Fine, but it's just going to be a quick tour." Then they stepped through Hell's Gates._

_Pip's P.O.V_

_'Wow' Pip thought. 'Hell is surprisingly boring.' They'd seen Satan's castle, a;; the seven layers of Hell, and were currently walking around the Lake of Fire._

_'I wish something would happen.' Pip started to lag behind Damien a bit, who didn't notice as he was too engrossed in describing the Lake of Fire's history._

_Pip stopped walking and turned to stare at a wooded are near the lake. He could've sworn he'd seen those bushes move. HE started to walk again, but stopped when he saw the bushes rustle._

_'Okay, I definitely saw something move that time.' Pip thought._

_He looked ahead and saw Damien was still walking ahead of him, unaware that Pip wasn't behind him anymore. He looked back at the bushes, and moved towards them a little._

_"Hello? Is anyone there?" Pip called out._

_The bushes rustle a final time, and out walked a bear, a deer, a porcupine, a fox, a rabbit, a squirrel, a mouse, and a chickadee. How odd hat they were wearing winter clothing._

_"Oh my," The deer said, "A living soul. How did you get here?"_

_Pip smiled and said, "My boyfriend, Damien, brought me here."_

_The critters ears perked up._

_"Damien? Damien Thorne?" The porcupine asked._

_"Yes, that's him. Do you know him?" Pip asked._

_The critters looked at each other and said in unison "He's the son of our lord and savior, Satan!"_

_'Huh. Damien never told me that.' Pip thought._

_"So, you must be pretty good friends with him, right?" The critters laughed._

_"No way!" The bear said. "We were all killed trying to bring that bastard into the world, and we want revenge!"_

_"Ooh, let's kill this boy! That'll really piss him off!" The porcupine exclaimed._

_The critters started to move towards Pip, and he backed away nervously._

_"Now now, let's not do anything we might regret."_

_The deer laughed at him. "Oh trust me, we won't regret this at all."_

_Pip turned around to run to Damien, but was stopped by a wall of flames leaping up from the ground._

_"Damien!" Pip screamed. "Help!"_

_The critters all jumped on Pip._

_He cried out feeling them pecking, clawing, biting, and scratching him all over._

_"Damien! Please help me!" Pip screamed again._

_"It's useless, boy!" The deer yelled while stomping on his leg. "No one can save you now!"_

_"Except for me." Damien walked right through the flames, causing the critters to quickly scamper off of Pip._

_"Damien!" The porcupine pretended to be surprised. "What are you doing here, my lord?"_

_"A better question would be what the hell you think you're doing to my boyfriend?"_

_"Oh! He's your boyfriend?" The bear asked. "We had no idea!"_

_"T-that's not true!" Pip was now curled up on the ground in pain. "They wanted to get revenge on you by killing me!"_

_Damien glared at the critters. "How dare you try to kill my Pip! You will pay for this!"_

_Pip watched in amazement as Damien used his powers to send all the critters flying through the air into the Lake of Fire. Their pained screams filled the air as Damien bent down to lift Pip into his arms bridal style._

_"Don't worry Pip, I'll get you all healed up." Pip smiled up at his boyfriend. "Thank you, Damien."_

_End Flashback_

Sometimes, he really hated being able to experience Pips memories like they were his own. He could feel all the pain that Pip did when those damn critters attacked him.

Focusing on the present, he found himself at the door to his room. He quickly opened the door and slammed it shut, locking the door and leaning heavily against it. He really needed to start running more...

Damien turned around and nearly wet himself seeing Pip sitting on his bed.

"How did you...but you were...huh?" Damien was extremely confused about how Pip was able to beat him here.

Pip laughed a little. "Learning black magic after those critters attacked me was one of the best decisions I ever made. Moving through walls, beating up and knocking demons out with my mind, it's all quite useful. Now, tell me why you decided to break your promise to me by scaring the _shit_ out of my parents and kidnapping me. I'm sure it'll be good."

Damien swallowed nervously. "Well, I kind of got blackmailed into doing it. You see, that bastard Saddam got a DVD of me beating up some bullies that had been picking on you by using my powers. I swear I only did it because my dad would've grounded my ass for a long time if he had found out, and I wouldn't have been able to see you at all. Please believe me Pip, I never would've done that by choice."

Pip remained quiet for a while, appearing to be deep in thought.

Damien looked around the room in anticipation, waiting to see how Pip would react.

His head snapped towards Pip when he heard him get off the bed. Pip slowly walked towards Damien and stopped when he was right in front of him, looking up into his boyfriend's face.

Pip stood on his tiptoes and wrapped his arms around Damien's neck, kissing him lightly before pulling back and saying "I believe you."

"Really?" Damien asked. "You do?"

"Yes, I believe you're telling the truth. There is one thing I'd like you to do to make it up to me, though."

"Anything. I'll do whatever you want me to do. So, what is it?" Pip lightly tugged Damien's arm in the direction of the bed with a grin on his face. "I think you know."

Damien raised an eyebrow before grinning as well, tackling Pip onto the bed. "I like the sound of that."

AN: You hate me yet? This is what I made you wait so long for. Part of the wait was cutie's fault for getting her ass grounded. I would've had this up in May if that hadn't happened. The rest was caused by life and general laziness, which I apologize for. You probably still want to kill me, though, especially for ending this chapter with yet another cliff-hanger. Due to The Great Purge, no lemon will be posted in the fifth chapter. Fear not, as I will get the full chapter, lemon included, on my deviantART account. I go by the same name there as I do on here. TheMysticalQ lives everywhere. I just want to say, VexVulpes is the wonderful person who inspired me to update. Look her up sometime. She and I won't be able to talk for almost a whole month, so I wanted to surprise her with an update. It's all for you, Vex! See you next time. Oh, and I've got a little something to say to anyone that decides to flame me: Go fuck yourself. I'm an asshole and I approve this message.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Well, this is it. The last chapter of A Demon Comes To Visit. First off, I just wanna say that I am severely disappointed in the lack of reviews for chapter four. I at least expected the people who have this on their story alert list to review. Only HappyNoodleGirl666 and ScaryBones reviewed. Special thanks to ScaryBones for reading this all in one go and reviewing all the chapters. Love you Scary! u3u

Anyway, after I finish this, I'll get to writing the original oneshot it was planned to be. Wether it's better or worse than this multi-chapter fic is up tp you to decide. Now, without further ado, I present to you the final chapter of A Demon Comes To Visit! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned South Park, there'd be yaoi in every episode, and Cartman would be dead.

Damien and Pip stood side-by-side i front of the door to Pip's house. Pip looked over at Damien and took hold of his hand, giving it a light squeeze.

Damien looked back at Pip and smiled, squeezing his hand in return. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked.

Pip smiled and nodded, though he felt a little unsure. "I'm sure. I know my parents, and they aren't the type to hold a grudge, but... Well... You know how protective they are of me."

Damien nodded, remembering how it had taken Pip's parents a good two weeks to get used to the idea of Pip having a boyfriend. "So you're completely ready then? You're not going to back down?"

Pip shook his head. "I'm ready. I'm ready to face my parents."

Damien smiled at Pip. "Alright then. Go ahead." He took a few steps back to give his boyfriend some room for the reunion about to take place.

Pip moved closer to the door in front of him and brought his left fist up to knock on it, praying that it wasn't is mother who answered as he lightly tapped the wood with his knuckles.

Pip's prayers were not answered, as the blonde woman just a head shorter than him was the one who opened the door, her eyes lighting up when she saw him. "Pip!" she cried, and pulled her son into a bonecrushing hug. "Your father and I have been so worried about you! Are you okay? How did you escape?" His mother let go of him and started checking Pip over for injuries.

Pip gently moved his mother's hands away from him, holding her soft, smaller ones in his. "I'm okay, mom," he said, feeling guilty as he saw his mother's eyes were red, probably from crying over his kidnapping and "death". "I didn't have to escape, either."

"What?" Pip's mother asked, a confused look on her face. "Then how did you get out of Hell?"

"I brought him back," Damien suddenly spoke up from the back. "I brought him back from Hell."

Pip's mother's eyes widened, and she took a few steps back, pulling Pip with her. "W-What are you doing here?"

"It's alright, mom," Pip said. "Damien isn't going to hurt anyone. He only kidnapped me because he was forced to."

Pip's mother eyed Damien warily. "I didn't think it was anyone could force the antichrist to do something."

"It's actually very possible, ma'am, if you're my father, or someone with blackmail material." Damien politely replied. "The latter is why I kidnapped Pip and threatened you. Everything's been sorted out with the one blackmailing me, and I'd like another chance to get to know you and your husband."

Pip's mother still looked a bit unsure, but when she saw the sincere expression on the demon's face, and the encouraging one on her son's, she gave a small smile and nodded. "Alright... I believe you."

"Really?" Damien asked. 'See, parents love me.' He thought to Pip, who internally rolled his eyes.

"Yes. If my son trusts you, then so do I. Now come inside, both of you. We need to explain this to your father, Pip." She turned and walked just inside the doorway, then turned back around to face them.

Pip smiled brightly at his mother. "Ok." He turned around, taking his boyfriend's hand in his. "Let's go."

Damien nodded and smiled back at Pip, and they both walked into Pip's house, Pip's mother closing the door behind them.

/OO/

Damien, Pip, Marie, and George were all sitting on the two couches in the living room. The story had been explained to Pip's father, and Damien was in the clear. There was just one thing Pip wanted to know...

"Damien, what happened to Saddam?"

Damien grinned evilly and took out a vial from his front pocket. "You know those imps that work for my father?"

Pip nodded, remembering the small, black spiky creatures that he'd seen in Hell that he sometimes played with. "What about them?"

"Since it's May, they've all been given a two month vacation for their mating season. This vial used to contain female imp pheromones," Damien said with a satisfied look on his face.

"Used to...? Oh, you didn't," Pip said disbelievingly.

"Oh I so fucking did."

/OO/

In Hell, a horde of imps were chasing after Saddam Hussein, each one sporting an erection.

"Oh sweet Jesus heeeelp!" Saddam yelled. Then the horde caught up with him.

/OO/

Author's Note: Fuck I'm finally done. Finished this in biology in honor of testing being over. I know it's been forever, but... Forgive me? Inspiration kept striking for other things. Sorries. Review please?

PS I was almost done typing this at about 8:15 PM. Then I lost it all and had to start over. I cried out of frustration.


End file.
